This month was Burton-Conner’s Annual Apple Bake: a culinary competition between floors that can only really be described as Iron Chef Apple, but with college students. This year, our floor (Conner 2) submitted 43 entries and won $420 in prize money. This is perhaps slightly more interesting when considering that there were 76 total entries, and $500 in prize money to be won. We are a bit enthusiastic about Apple Bake, you see.

I wound up winning first place in entrées for my Apple Bacon Cheddar Omelets, which I finished at the absolute last minute and without recipe. I’m not really a fan of cooking from recipes. The way I see it, when you start cooking, you should probably have an idea of what you want the final product to wind up looking and tasting like. From there, you draw on your skills and ingredients (and fancy kitchen gadgetry) to get there. And so, with 10 minutes remaining before the submission deadline, I pulled out my chopped onions and apples, my smoked cheddar and gouda, and my delicious bacon, and started throwing things into a hot skillet. A few dashes of sea salt and a sprig of parsley later, they were done.

When you learn differential equations, you never learn how to solve just one particular equation. You learn methods, pattern recognition, what to do when you have a square hold and a round peg, and how to draw hundreds of little arrows with remarkable efficiency. Cooking should really be the same way, except maybe direction fields don’t make omelets taste any better at all. I’ve got a bunch of ingredients floating around, and the solution I’m looking for is the tastiest one. Hopefully it’s a stable solution, but not always (soufflé anyone?). If the problem is at all interesting though, it’s probably one you haven’t seen before. Improve, adapt, overcome. Make the best damn omelet the world has ever seen, despite the fact that you ran out of eggs and maybe you don’t have a skillet either. Just because a few recipes happen to call for eggs and a skillet doesn’t mean every omelet needs them. Throw some tofu and cheese on a piece of tinfoil placed over your stovetop.  Blam, instant omelete-esque.  Mmmm…aluminum.

So learn yourself some Laplace transforms, and maybe you’ll cook a bit better.