Oh Shampoo, How I Have Missed Thee
I ran out of my shampoo last Thursday. This was problematic, mostly because I insist on using Redken Men Mint Clean shampoo, which is fancy and expensive and makes me feel like I’m a cool person, but also is only really sold in fancy salons and hair product stores. It also makes my scalp tingle. Mmm…tingly… The conditioner is even better, if you’re curious.
In my tragic shampoo-less state, I didn’t know what to do. Go without shampoo? Could I substitute body wash for shampoo? What if my hair dries out from the soap? That would have been tragic. I’m fairly certain that all my friends would have left me if I used anything less than amazing shampoo on my hair.
Mason, we all talked, and we’ve decided that your hair is simply not moisturized enough for us to associate with you.
The horror.
A sudden realization. A spark of insight that grew from some dark, unexplored corner of my mind. What could it be? Dig deeper, Mason, follow your instincts. Yes! I’ve got it! The apartment came with complimentary conditioning shampoo! Now where did I put it? This drawer here, yes! Luxuriously clean hair can once again be mine!
It wasn’t much, but it tided me over until I made the trek over to the local mall and restocked on my preferred shampoo. I can have friends again.
wait…you used complimentary shampoo? I’m afraid we can’t be friends anymore mason
the urge to just call you gay and leave it at that is overwhelming, but I’m also very particular about my shampoo. That being said, I’m afraid we can’t be brothers anymore.
Yeah, I was coming over here to make a comment related to Sauza’s. See, I would have assumed that using complimentary hotel shampoo would have freaked you out far worse than contemplating using your body wash on your hair for a while (since, seeing as it’s you, your body wash probably cost as much as your shampoo and probably has tons of fun chemicals in it that make it okay to use on hair. Yeah, I have a bar of soap at the moment. That doesn’t work so well.) I mean, my sister won’t even use complimentary hotel shampoo; she says it does something funny to her hair.
*shrugs*
I was actually waiting for this story to end with “and then I remembered that in the olden days they used to shampoo their hair with eggs, so I went to my fridge and washed my hair.” Or something. I don’t know.
That’s kind of gross and slimy, though.
…I would totally wash my hair with a bar of soap. I mean, the only reason I wash my hair is to not smell bad and feel really gross and greasy. The bar of soap should accomplish those things, right?
Mason…HOW is it that we’re friends, exactly? It just makes no sense. =)
I certainly can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t have sufficiently moisturized hair.
Just sayin’.
… now if you just get rid of that sticky hair product, then maybe we could become better friends